Tears of Anger, Tears of Regret
by razzamatazz73
Summary: Timmy reflects on how oblivious he was to how Cosmo treated Wanda, and tries to forgive himself. Then, Wanda tries to get over her grief, just in time to lose someone else. EXTENDED! Character death, language. Twoshot.
1. Tears of Anger, Tears of Regret

Author's notes: I'm appalled… at what this show has come to. A few months away from watching the show nonstop and checking the fandom everyday has done a lot…

I hate the way Wanda and Cosmo's relationship is falling apart. It's ruining the show for me. And as I said in a review for azuretears's "Falling to Pieces" (which is what got me thinking for this fic) those writers have GOT to clean up their act, or risk people not watching the show.

**And those of you who know me from "Coming Clean," I want you guys never to look at that story ever again! It stinks! I have grown so much as a writer since then… My other FOP fic, "Sweet Hesitation," is so much better… **

**I will warn you all, though- this fic is quite different from "Sweet Hesitation". It's exactly the opposite. **

**And now, another one-shot from lucyrocks73 (which is about all I do in this fandom anymore). This is all in Timmy's POV, if you're wondering.**

I don't believe it. Three years ago, when I first heard the ominous introduction sentences "I'm Cosmo! I'm Wanda! And we're your Fairy God Parents!" I never would have guessed that this would happen.

I have no clue when it started… only that I should have seen it sooner. I can only blame myself.

I should have seen how he was treating her; how she would cry. I should have heard how he complained about her; how he talked to her. I should have known it would happen sooner or later. I shouldn't have been so oblivious.

Oblivious- that's it. That's the only word I can think of to describe how I was. I never noticed how cruel he was to her… I was too busy in my world of school, Chester and A.J., Trixie Tang, the Crimson Chin, and normal Timmy Turner-oriented things. I should have thought about them… not me.

He could have killed her… and I probably wouldn't have noticed…

He practically did, anyway- he just about killed her heart. And now, because I was so ignorant in the first place, it's up to me to pick up the pieces.

I wanted to cling on to some hope, that he'd change… change back to the old Cosmo, the idiotic, Cosmo that we loved. I guess Wanda still loves him- I don't understand why, after all he did to her- but she does. I guess, like me, she's just clinging on to hope… the hope that I've given up for dead.

She's worried about me; and I'm worried about her. We're going to have to depend on each other to get through this.

Towards the end, he was remorseful. But I was too blind to see what had happened… What would happen eventually…

Oh, why'd he have to do it? Why'd he have to kill himself? Did he think that removing himself would fix his marriage? Because it only made it worse… Wait a minute, what marriage is there anymore?

Doesn't he remember the words "till death do we part"?

Didn't he once think of Wanda?

Didn't… didn't he once think of me?

Oh great… there I go again, thinking of myself… as many times as Wanda tells me that I've got the most loving and giving heart, I'll never believe it.

I don't believe much anymore. My friends are noticing my silence. So are my mom and dad, and they're just as oblivious as I am… if not more…

I've grown so much… more then I'm supposed to, I think. And you know what? I can't tell a single person what's wrong with me, other then Wanda. She's the only one who knows, much less understands what I'm going through.

I feel older… like life isn't long enough for me. Everyone gets older, I guess, but I don't even know what I'm supposed to do about this. I mean, why am I here? I couldn't stop Cosmo from killing himself, from doing this. It's drastic- we all thought it was, and I'm sure Cosmo thought it was to.

I'm thirteen right now, soon to be fourteen- and I feel so much older…

I can't handle this… All I know is, I'm never going to commit suicide. Ever. And if I ever feel the urge to, I'll think about those who I'd leave behind… God knows Cosmo never did.

You know what, I think that he was just as selfish as I am.

_Yeah, my marriage sucks because of me, so I'll make it better and disappear… I'll leave everyone… who cares if anyone misses me? I hate myself!_

Yeah, I'll bet that's what he thought.

Maybe.

It was his fault to begin with… he should have been nicer to her. He shouldn't have weakened her like that… He weakened her for the blow that was soon to come.

I'll say it again- didn't he once think of us? I don't care if I'm being selfish anymore.

It's taken me this long to realize it, but I'm not quite as selfish as I thought I was… I just realized that. Cosmo was even more selfish.

I still don't know what was going through his head… and I have no clue why I'm still trying to figure it out.

Wanda cried at the funeral. I think everyone did, except Jorgen. Well, he's Jorgen, and he doesn't cry unless it's in his own self-pity.

I'm not ashamed to admit that I cried, too- but they were not tears of sadness. They were tears of anger, tears of regret.

Tears that could have been prevented if I hadn't been so oblivious.

Author's notes: Yes, Cosmo killed himself, and I know that seems drastic. But I guess, like Timmy, I've given up on all hope- and Cosmo seems at a loss to me.

And I know several of you feel the same, whether you're going to admit it or not.

I mentioned before that "Sweet Hesitation" (or "SH" is the opposite of this story. I meant it. When I wrote that, I was stuck in the past. Don't think that I didn't notice Cosmo's mistreating of Wanda… I tried to ignore it. So I wrote "SH", trying to put Cosmo back into the good 'ol days when all we had to worry about was Juan stealing Wanda away from Cosmo.

Now, I can't ignore it anymore. Which is why I wrote this.

Also, some of you may notice lyrics from "Phantom of the Opera" drabbled in once or twice in this story… that's what I was watching while writing this.

Please review… and no flames, please.


	2. Fighting Anger, Fighting Regret

Author's notes: So I thought about it, and I decided to extend this one more chapter to show Wanda's emotions… I don't think that the story is complete with out those details, and it was bugging me (and a few of my reviewers).

**So here is Part Two.**

**Also, this chapter is in Wanda's POV.**

I can't take this. Cosmo's gone, and if something doesn't change, Timmy will be too.

It's my fault, I know it. Timmy wouldn't have gotten so mature so damn fast if it weren't for me.

I already lost Cosmo, and now Timmy's dying because I was so emotionally demanding of him.

I'm getting ahead of myself.

Timmy was shocked by Cosmo's death. No one thought that anyone so close to us would be capable of suicide. Timmy was just trying to be a kid- he was supposed to indulge in Cosmo's liveliness and humor. That was the only side he knew of Cosmo, and the only side he wanted to see.

But he didn't see- or didn't _want_ to see- that Cosmo was changing. Changing from the idiotic, crazy fairy I married to a sullen, sharp creature that no one understood. I loved him. I still do.

Cosmo treated me like shit- I'll admit it. I was getting tired of him stepping all over me. I was his wife, not his scapegoat. I was a headstrong woman, and his insults were unjust and served as emotional blows to my heart.

But I loved him. I always will.

Then… That night- that terrible night- was the last time I saw my husband alive.

I honestly forget what the insult was that last time, but it was probably the worst of them all.

Timmy was at a school dance, no doubt trying to get Trixie to dance with him, avoiding Tootie's gaze, and fooling around with his friends. A typical middle school dance for our godchild. He gave us the night off, hoping that we would relax.

As if that actually happened.

I put on a happy face when he left. "Goodbye, Sport- tell us all about it when you come back."

He left his house with that bucktoothed grin on his face. How I wish I could see that grin one more time…

I stayed by myself that night. I didn't know, and didn't care what Cosmo was doing.

Until an hour before Timmy was supposed to come home. Then I cared, because Cosmo found me.

He took me in his arms and started kissing me. He kissed my lips, my face, my eyes- anywhere he could. "I love you… I love you…" he muttered over and over.

I pulled away and looked into his emerald eyes.

"I… I'm sorry Wanda."

An apology? That was rare. And typically Cosmo didn't kiss me when he apologized.

I let him kiss me. Oh, how I loved him… I loved this passionate Cosmo as much as I hated the insulting one.

After several minutes, he pulled away. "Hey, baby," he whispered. Sweat was dripping down his face, as was mine. "I've got to do something."

Wondering what it was, I reluctantly let him go. He floated away.

I probably would have waited all night. I was so happy to have back what I though might have been the old Cosmo that time didn't seem to matter.

I waited for my husband to return.

And waited.

And waited.

But he never came back.

Timmy found him. I don't think I'll ever forget the look on his face when he told me that Cosmo was dead; a gaunt, mature expression that I never expected to see on Timmy's face. In a shaky yet determined voice, he broke the news.

My husband had committed suicide.

My love.

My Soulmate.

My other half.

My… My Cosmo.

Cosmo was dead.

It was just Timmy and I after that. He seemed to grow up in front of me- no longer that spunky, hyperactive little boy I once knew.

Now he was a mature teenage boy, nearing adulthood years ahead of when he should have.

He turned fourteen last week. In the midst of my grief, I didn't remember. Timmy honestly didn't care- he woke up in the middle of the night, holding me close when I cried, just like any other day.

I can't get over Cosmo- I loved him too much. Timmy said nothing, except calming words to silence my tears. If Cosmo miraculously came back from the dead, I think Timmy would have killed him.

This scared him- he blamed himself for Cosmo's death. He didn't talk about it much, but I know what he was thinking. He was fighting- fighting his anger, fighting his regret, just as I am. He wanted to prove to himself that he couldn't kill. He wanted to prove to himself that he was still a good person, and that Cosmo's death hadn't changed this.

Timmy never smiled, at least not since Cosmo died. I didn't really think about it until tonight, when I first saw him unconscious in that stark white hospital bed.

I already lost Cosmo because I was too insulted by average comments that most men spoke about. And now I'm about to lose the only person I have left because I was too engulfed in grief.

Timmy, being the sweet, caring person I keep wanting to tell him that he is, stopped by the mini mart after school today to buy a bar of chocolate for me. Every so often, he does things like this, out of love.

He was paying for the chocolate when the robbers came in. They threatened the clerk, and shot the only customer in the store.

Timmy.

I wondered why he was late, and then I heard the phone ring.

Then I heard Mrs. Turner scream.

I'm in his hospital room now. No one is here, so there is no need to disguise myself. The Turner's are talking to his doctor.

I squeeze his hand. How weak he looks… The bandages on his chest have small spots of blood blossoming out of them. His breathing is labored, despite the tubes in his nose pumping oxygen in him, and the oxygen mask covering his face.

It hits me- he's dying. I can't help him. I look at out the glass window looking out at waiting room, and I see the doctor shake his head.

The monotones coming from the heart monitor are starting to get to me. As each one of Timmy's heartbeats sound, a shiver goes through me. Is it just me, or is it freezing in here?

I wish I could tell him how much I love him, and thank him for all that he's done.

I feel his hand slowly move in mine, and I realize that I have my chance.

"Timmy?" I whisper.

Blue eyes flutter open, and I see pain and weakness reflected back at me. My godson takes a breath of pure oxygen before pulling the oxygen mask down past his chin.

"Hey, Wanda…" he says weakly.

"Hi, Sport… How're you feeling?"

"I'm fine… what about you?"

Here he is, lying in a hospital bed and dying from a bullet wound, and he asks me how I'm feeling.

"I'm scared, Timmy," I say, my voice cracking. "Please don't leave me… Not like…" I couldn't even say my husband's name.

Timmy breathes in the oxygen mask for a moment, and then begins to speak. "Wanda… I'm not afraid of dying. Really. I honestly don't care… Except that I'm leaving you. Wanda, I'm dying, I know it."

He lets his head fall back onto the pillow. He's getting weaker, I can tell.

He's fighting to stay conscious now, his breathing becoming more ragged. "I…love you… Wanda, don't… forget that."

Seeing how close he is to death, I quickly put the oxygen mask over his face. I'm scared; he lost so much blood…

I burst into tears, and hold my dying godson as tight as I can without hurting him. "I love you too, Timmy."

There is no response. I didn't expect one. The heart monitor confirms what I know has happened; Timmy is dead. His body falls limp in my arms.

I'm alone. There's no one to help me with my grief this time.

Maybe that's for the best.

I don't want to remember him as the strong, mature Timmy, but that goofy child with the bucktoothed grin. But as I hold his body close to mine, I know that the bad times will overshadow the good.

Okay, was it bad to extend this? I hope not… please give me your feedback. I loved the response to the first chapter. Keep on reviewing!

**-Marty :-D**


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